… and not in a nice way.
I don’t know why it is, but ever since we moved house, I’ve not been able to stop and catch my breath. It’s been one thing after another. First, there was the new job. Then then move. Then we had no domestic help. Then we got that sorted, but had no one to iron our clothes and clean our cars. Now even the ironing seems to have been sorted – the cleaning lady says she will take it, get her husband to do it, and bring it back the next day; what could be better, we don’t even have to go anywhere to drop or fetch it – so life is mostly back on track. Other than the bout of viral fever that took three of us down in turns, the kids have been fine. And still…
It’s not so much about running at top speed just to stay in one place… that has eased up with all the domestic help getting sorted out. I even get to watch a couple of hours of TV every week, so it’s not that I never have any leisure hours at all. It’s just that I’m always so tired.
I mean, I’m always. so. tired.
I’ve never been one to have trouble falling asleep at night, so for me to be asleep five minutes after my head hits the pillow is normal. But to be struggling to stay awake that long, every night, for weeks on end… that’s not normal.
Some days, I wake up feeling tired. Not sleepy – most days I get close to 7 hours of sleep, so that’s ok – but physically tired. Yes, I wake up that way. My limbs feel heavy. I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed. For me, that’s not normal. To feel my legs aching, to want to sit down… that’s not normal. That’s the way I usually feel when I get my period – but I don’t get my period every day of the month! (And thank god for that!)
And to not have the energy to go for tennis – time after time after time? That’s just weird.
It takes me longer to recover from things too. It took me weeks to really recover from the viral in February. Admittedly I had it bad, but I’m used to just snapping back to normal in a week or so. Any other exertion – tennis, socialising, my period, a hectic day at work, a late night, or just about anything mildly tiring – wears me out, and again, I take days to recover from it.
I can’t understand why I’m like this. Is it the job? But it’s been three months already! Is it old age? But that should be a gradual process. Is it the functional dyspepsia I was diagnosed with some months ago and which keeps coming back sporadically? Is it the food I’m eating? Or the water I’m drinking? Is it the alignment of the stars?
Whatever it is, I wish it would go away. I’m not used to not having enough energy and I don’t like it.