Twenty (Stupid) Questions

Here’s something I came up with one idle afternoon. I won’t say that all of them, or even any of them, are original, but I would say that all of them are pretty silly.

How do you…

(Feel free to add more options to the answers.)

  1. Put on socks and shoes: sock, sock, shoe, shoe, or sock, shoe, sock shoe?
  2. Put on a button-down shirt that is buttoned up: unbutton it and re-button it, or slip it over your head?
  3. Start your car: ignition, handbrake, seatbelt; handbrake, ignition, seatbelt; seatbelt, handbrake, ignition….(more…)
  4. Start your day: brush teeth, breakfast, tea/coffee; breakfast, beverage, brush…
  5. Eat grapes from a bowl: pick ‘em up one at a time, or grab a handful and put them in your mouth all at once?
  6. Eat a fried egg, sunny side up: break the yolk and let it run out, or pop the whole yolk in at one go?
  7. Interlace the fingers of your hands: left thumb goes over right thumb; right thumb goes over left thumb; sometimes one way, sometimes the other?
  8. Cut your fingernails: clip the nails of the left (secondary) hand first; clip the nails of the right (primary) hand first; a nail from each hand, alternatingly?
  9. Step up, step down: left foot first for both; right foot first for both; left foot first going up, right foot first going down; right foot first going up, left foot first going down?
  10. Write a blog entry: think it out, then write; think while writing; write without thinking?
  11. Approach a daunting set of tasks: worst thing first; best thing first; most time-consuming thing first; quickest thing first…
  12. Maintain your email Inbox: by scrupulously sorting and deleting email; letting everything sit in the inbox till it overflows?
  13. Keep track of your bank account/credit card account: track every transaction; verify monthly statements; know you’ve reached the limit when payments bounce…
  14. Address your mother: mom; mum; mama; amma; ma; mother…
  15. Fall asleep: on your back, on your tummy, on your side, curled up in a ball…
  16. Surf TV: 2 seconds per channel; 5 minutes per channel; sports and news channels get 5 minutes, entertainment gets 2 seconds; or the other way round…
  17. Drive: slow and relaxed (what’s the hurry?); fast but careful (why waste time?); aggressive and ruthless (I’ll get you before you get me!); supersonic (Schumacher needs competition…)
  18. Put your computer to bed: Standby; Hibernate; Shut Down; leave it running; just turn off the monitor
  19. Respond to beggars: give; don’t give; depends on mood; depends on beggar…
  20. Prepare for an event (such as a party, outing, travel) or deadline: well in advance; last minute; start well in advance but finish at the last minute…

Heck, no, I don’t expect you to sit and answer these stupid questions. More entertaining than answering them: why don’t you come up with some of your own?

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